Lifestyle - NEWS POLITE

Proof women are meant to have multiple lovers at the same time: Jana Hocking

Guys, I don’t know about monogamy. Have we been hoodwinked? Seriously.

As someone who has been single for a fair chunk of my 30s, I’ve got to witness many things in my friends’ relationships, family relationships and my relationships.

Close friends who are kind, considerate people with good heads on their shoulders have been caught up in affairs, or at the very least flirted with the idea.

And we’re not talking sleazy dudes having a midlife crisis, but everyday people, nurses, teachers, plenty of office workers.

And before I get a flood of angry messages from people saying ‘affairs ruin family’ let me state for the record: I KNOW! I’ve lived it. But that only firms my resolve more. When people are risking stable family lives for a connection, however brief, with someone else it makes me wonder if we are genetically wired to stay with just one person.

We’re brought up believing that monogamy is the morally correct way to live our lives but are we designed for it?

This sounds a little random but stick with me … I was recently invited to go into a penguin enclosure at a local zoo and saw these hilariously cute creatures up close.

The zookeeper was telling us some facts about their mating habits and it was pretty fascinating.

He revealed that while most penguin species are monogamous (one male breeds with one female during a mating season), research has shown that some females may have up to three partners in one season (floozies!) and some males may have one or two partners.

Mate selection is up to the female, and it is the females that compete for the males.

Not so different to the current state of dating, if we’re being honest.

Yes, even in the animal kingdom monogamy isn’t guaranteed.

In fact, among mammals, just 9 percent of species are monogamous and among primates, just 29 percent are.

And to further prove my point biologist, and evolutionary psychologist David P. Barash asks in his book Out of Eden if monogamy doesn’t come naturally to humans – why does society insist on it?

He found that monogamy is losing ground to instincts with much deeper roots in human history.

You see, we weren’t always monogamous. No, no.

That concept has only been around for the last 1000 years.

Before that, primates were solitary and preferred to live in isolation only coming together to mate.

To be fair, I think many of us still live like primates, only coming out of our Netflix binge sessions to occasionally flirt and throw a leg over. Joking. Kind of.

As someone who is afraid of commitment and yet definitely wants a relationship, I’ve recently been thinking that perhaps an open relationship at the start could be a great bridging tool to close the gap from single to taken.

It takes away the pressure so many of us feel of being trapped in a relationship.

With open communication from the very beginning perhaps it could be the secret to taking that scary first step.

And a heck load cheaper than a year’s worth of therapy.

And honestly, nine times out of 10 if we know we at least have the option of throwing our net wider in the dating pool, we probably won’t want to.

I believe it will most likely lead to a closed relationship once we get comfy with the idea of a partnership.

Plus, it takes away the horrid, sneaky, guilt-inducing aspect of monogamy.

I think it’s normal to want to explore outside your relationship but trust me the grass is not greener my friends.

This also assures me that opening a relationship isn’t necessarily a threat to your current relationship.

Anyone who has been in a stable long-term relationship will quickly realize what a cesspit the current dating scene is.

Sure, many people who shacked up before dating apps may feel like they are missing out on a romping good time.

But once they’ve been ghosted, or catfished they will realise they’ve actually missed out on nothing.

So here’s a modern idea; let them.

I am beginning to believe that an open relationship is key to a better relationship.

Not holding each other back.

Giving each other freedom and being completely open and honest about it. It’s certainly a thought …

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking.

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My terminally ill wife is cheating on me — I want to leave but I can’t

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have known each other for 25 years. We married five years ago. At that time, I was making 500-mile round trips twice a month to visit my children from my first marriage. I was, and still am, crazy about her.

However, two years ago, my wife admitted to a long-term romantic affair with a married man who has two children. She also admitted that she was waiting for him to leave his wife, and that he was waiting for her to leave me before moving in and eventually moving away together, and perhaps marrying.

Shortly after this came out, she became critically ill. She requires 24-hour care, and I have been at her side, monitoring her health and taking her blood pressure. She flatlined once at the hospital, and if I hadn’t been in the room at the time, she would have died.

My wife refuses to give me any details about the affair. There have been signs that she may still be in touch with him, and I think his wife should know. She becomes hysterical at that suggestion, which raises her blood pressure dangerously high. I feel trapped. I fear that if I leave her, she would have no one to care for her and might die. What do you advise? — DEEP IN THE DRAMA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DEEP: You are no more trapped than you wish to be. There can be no marriage without trust. If your wife were truly contrite about her affair, she would tell you everything.

Because you think she may still be in contact with her lover, and in light of the fact that she refuses to come clean, discuss this with an attorney who can explain to you what your responsibilities would be if you were to divorce her after five years of marriage. You should not be forced to be her caregiver under these circumstances.

DEAR ABBY: My 11-year-old grandson, “Lucas,” and I are very close. His mother (my daughter) allowed me to have him any time I wanted. I would even take him on vacation with me. When he was going into first grade, his mom informed me she was going into rehab, so he started living with me. Lucas is now in sixth grade and back living with his mom.

My daughter has two other boys and lives with their father. Lucas’ dad is not in his life. I have always been there for him. She isn’t a bad mom, but Lucas doesn’t like living with her. My daughter now plans to move 40 minutes away and transfer Lucas to a new school. I’m very worried for him. I’m the reason he has a social life. He has been in Boy Scouts with the same boys for five years. What am I to do? Let him go? — BESIDE MYSELF IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR BESIDE MYSELF: Unless you can convince your daughter to agree to allow Lucas to stay with you so he can remain socially active with his peer group, I think you have no choice but to let him go. Sixth and seventh grades are a difficult time for a child to start a new school because cliques have usually formed by then. You are a caring grandparent, and I wish you luck. Start campaigning now.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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Our neighbors keep on copying whatever we do

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been friends with another couple for many years. We would get together occasionally, and we mostly enjoyed their company. When the house across the street from ours became available, they bought it.

Not long after they moved in, the wife began copying our interior and exterior design elements and one night stood in our kitchen and said, “Well you know, everything’s a competition.” To say we were dismayed would be an understatement. My husband and I spent many years collecting vintage furniture and other items to create a distinctive home. It has been a labor of love.

Six months ago, we installed a unique garage door, unlike anything in the neighborhood. Abby, within three months she installed the exact same one! Are we wrong to find it crass and disrespectful?

We no longer want to spend time with them but don’t want to completely sever the connection because they are neighbors, and we also have some mutual friends. Moving is not an option; this is our home. What should we do? — FED UP IN OHIO

DEAR FED UP: I understand why you are frosted and need to distance yourself. Who wants to be close to someone who considers “everything” to be a competition? Perhaps it will lessen your frustration to remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, while you learn to accept things you cannot change. Of course it is in your best interest to keep things cordial, but it might be better if you no longer invite this woman into your home.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my beautiful mother six years ago. While, of course, I miss her terribly, something else has been bothering me that I’m having trouble getting over. I allowed my cousin on my dad’s side of the family to come to the hospital to see me and pay her respects, which didn’t bother me. It’s what occurred next that I have the big issue with.

When my cousin left the hospital, she jumped straight on Facebook and posted for everyone to see “RIP, Aunt Sally.” Everyone who was friends with Mom saw the post, which meant she announced my mom’s passing before I had even had time to process it all. I was extremely hurt, angry, sad and shocked that she would do that.

It still bothers me as it’s not something that can be undone. I was still lying beside my mom crying and trying to say goodbye to her when my phone started blowing up with messages and notifications. How can I get past the betrayal I feel? I have had very little contact with that cousin since. — HURT IN FLORIDA

DEAR HURT: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. In this internet age, it’s not unusual for people to post their feelings online. Your cousin may have been venting rather than intending to make a formal announcement of your mother’s passing. The problem with posting is that once it’s on there, it is out there for everyone to see and react to.

I do think this is something you should discuss with your cousin, who may not have realized how her online sentiments affected you on that sad and stressful day. You deserve an apology for her insensitivity.

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The average American spends over $2,500 a year eating out

Two in three Americans (67%) feel guilty when dining out, according to a new poll.

A recent survey of 2,000 American adults revealed that tighter budgets have made eating out less enjoyable than before, with almost a quarter (23%) reporting the simple act of spending money on a meal out is stressful and 44% saying the guilt is a result of both the act of spending and the amount spent.

Conducted by OnePoll on behalf of The Habit Burger, the research found that Americans are getting creative to make the most of their money when choosing outside food options, from kids’ menu hacks to customizations and ordering off of secret menus.

In fact, three-fourths of Americans believe adults should be allowed to order from the kids’ menu (77%).

And although most think age shouldn’t stop you from enjoying a kids’ meal, only one in five have had the bravery to order off the kids’ menu (21%).

But it hasn’t always gone smoothly: A third of Americans who have tried to order off of the kids’ menu have felt embarrassed in the moment and a similar percentage have even been denied (34%).

And, a quarter of those surveyed have used a hack they’ve seen on social media to make their money go a little further when dining out (24%).

Those who have used hacks shared some of their favorite ones, like using coupons (41%), taking advantage of special offers (34%) or ordering a meal that will give them enough food for leftovers (28%).

“We’ve spotted a trend: Savvy adults covertly ordering off the kids’ menu to manage expenses,” said Jack Hinchliffe, chief marketing officer at The Habit Burger Grill. “But why the hush-hush? We say, own it! That’s why we’re flipping the script by allowing grown-ups to experience kid’s meals, giving them the savings you’d get from ordering a kid’s meal but without the child-size portion. It’s guilt-free savings and grown-up-sized food. Why should kids have all the fun?”

The research revealed a snapshot of Americans’ dining out tendencies and found that the average person spends more than $2,500 a year on eating out.

But nearly seven in ten Americans (67%) are currently stressed about money and 39% have decreased their dining out budget over the past year in response.

It doesn’t help that, according to nearly eight in ten respondents (78%), restaurant prices have also increased over the past year.

And for nearly half of those surveyed, payday means treating yourself: 48% said they’re more likely to eat out shortly after receiving their paycheck compared to any other time.

Yet, one in six Americans said that they always find themselves refraining from ordering the menu item they really want in favor of a cheaper item.

A third of respondents eat at least three meals out a week, with the average respondent spending $51.70 per week.

On average, those surveyed have varying tastes when it comes to dining out, eating at both fine-dining and casual restaurants twice a month.

Fast-casual restaurants are more common, at three times a month — and fast food is even more popular, with the average respondent eating this four times a month.

Ideally, those surveyed would be willing to spend $20.30 on their ideal meal, although 53% would prefer an even cheaper meal option.

“It’s tough out there right now and finding a meal that satisfies when it comes to quality and cost can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack,” said Hinchliffe. “We’ve stayed true to a simple philosophy: Consistently delivering fresh, chargrilled food at affordable, everyday value. It’s not just about the meal; it’s about an experience shared with friends or family that you can feel good about.”

Survey methodology:

This random double-opt-in survey of 2,000 general population Americans was commissioned by The Habit Burger between Feb. 20 and Feb. 25, 2024. It was conducted by market research company OnePoll, whose team members are members of the Market Research Society and have corporate membership to the American Association for Public Opinion Research (AAPOR) and the European Society for Opinion and Marketing Research (ESOMAR).

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Costco customer returns couch after two years, sparks viral reaction to store’s return policy

A viral video of a Costco customer returning a couch purchased over two years ago sparked online discussion about the wholesale retailer’s return policy and whether customers are abusing it.

A woman named Jackie shared she bought a couch from Costco over two and a half years ago, in a video posted last week to TikTok that’s attracted nearly 3 million views.

Jackie admits she was nervous to return the large item to the warehouse store and felt intimidated by other shoppers staring at her while waiting in line.

“But who cares. Return it. They have an awesome return policy,” she tells her followers. “Buy your furniture from Costco, girl. You can return it when you don’t like it anymore.”

A woman named Jackie shared she bought a couch from Costco over two and a half years ago, in a video posted last week to TikTok that’s attracted nearly 3 million views.

Jackie admits she was nervous to return the large item to the warehouse store and felt intimidated by other shoppers staring at her while waiting in line.

“But who cares. Return it. They have an awesome return policy,” she tells her followers. “Buy your furniture from Costco, girl. You can return it when you don’t like it anymore.”

“Simply bring the product to any Costco warehouse and our Member Services Team will be happy to assist you. It helps if you have the receipt or original product packaging, but it may not be necessary to process your return,” their return policy states.

Their policy does not say that items must be returned in a certain time frame or in a certain condition for most merchandise.

There are exceptions for electronics, jewelry, cigarettes, alcohol, car tires and batteries, airline tickets, gold, and special order items.

The couch return video drew some backlash on TikTok, with some Costco customers berating the woman for taking advantage of the policy.

“That is just f—ing wrong,” one woman reacted. “You used something and you loved it with your kids and your animals and your whole family, and you used it for two-and-a-half years, and just because there’s [a] little loophole in this store’s policy, you think that it is morally right to take that couch back and get a full, full refund for it, for a used item that there was nothing wrong with?”

Her reaction video drew over 15,000 comments and nearly 2 million views. Top commenters seemed to agree this was an abuse of the liberal store return policy.

“You are not wrong. People abuse Costco’s great return policy,” one top comment said.

“I work for Costco. Don’t get me started,” another top comment said.

However, others defended Jackie, saying the company’s top customer satisfaction policy allowed for these sort of returns.

“MY husband works for Costco and says that the Co. receives money from all of the returned items. I am not ashamed to return my items,” one person wrote.

Another TikToker named Brittany argued that the wholesale retailer makes most of its money on its membership fees, so they can have a more liberal return policy than other retailers.

“They are a multi-billion dollar company. The amount of returns they get probably doesn’t touch the amount of profits they have so it’s not that big of a deal. Why are we caring so much about this huge corporation and about the money they make? When we are literally all like dirt poor compared to them. We should get our money’s worth and get our money back if we can,” she said. “I would totally do the same.”

Last year, another Costco return video went viral on TikTok, after customers returned a two-year-old used mattress so they could put the money towards a new mattress.

Costco Wholesale did not immediately return a request for comment.

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Weight loss influencer Mila De Jesus’ newlywed husband speaks out after death at 35

Mila De Jesus’ distraught husband George Kowszik has spoken out following his wife’s tragic death at age 35.

Kowszik, 61, took to social media earlier this week to share a heartfelt tribute to his late wife, who died of suspected cardiac arrest on Jan. 12.

“My wife loved me and believed in me through God which impacted my life and hers together,” he wrote on Facebook on Jan. 16.

“I was short but often our lord has his own ways of his people. I will never ever forget what God has blessed me and my beautiful and her very wonderful children God has also blessed with me.”

Kowszik went on to thank loved ones and the late Brazilian-born influencer’s fans for reaching out during such a devastating time.

“Hello..Everyone of my wife’s and I friend’s and family,” he continued. “Your beautiful kind, caring and loving beautiful words and incredible inspiring PRAYERS… Have instilled such PEACE..in my life of 60yrs on this earth I ever felt.”

“I’m sorry I can’t talk right now.. crying too much. forgive me,” Kowszik added.

The touching tribute came just days after Kowszik’s initial Facebook post on Jan. 13, which read, “I am not really good with words and talking here. I lost my beautiful wife and my best friend yesterday that I love so much.”

The pair had tied the knot in September and were still planted firmly in newlywed bliss at the time of De Jesus’ sudden death.

She leaves behind four children from a previous marriage.

De Jesus’ son, Pedro Marçal, also paid tribute to his late mother, writing, “Rest, mom. I love you so much and no one will ever love me like you. God bless you.”

The Instagram star shot to fame after undergoing a major weight loss transformation, which she commemorated in a November Instagram post juxtaposing pics of herself before and after the procedure.

Though she was perhaps best known for her makeup tutorials, which she often shared with her 100,000-strong followers on YouTube.

Just months prior, the content creator announced that she’d been suffering from psoriasis — a skin disease that causes a rash with itchy, scaly patches — since July.

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Mom calls out bullies’ parents in viral TikTok after daughter’s ‘knock-off’ Stanley cup was mocked at school

A mom called out parents in a viral TikTok earlier this week, claiming she bought her daughter a name-brand Stanley cup after her peers at school mocked her for toting her under $10 Walmart knock-off.

“Can we afford to buy her a Stanley? Yes. Did I think that she needed one? No,” Dayna Motycka told her followers earlier this week.

“Apparently I’ve been proven wrong by the children in our school that are making fun of her for not having a real name-brand Stanley.”

Motycka showed the cheetah print pink and white insulated tumbler she purchased for $9.98, saying her daughter thought it was “cute.”

After coming back to school from the holidays, Motycka’s daughter was “upset” about the way other girls, many of whom got Stanley Cups for Christmas, criticized the knock-off and made sure to let her know it wasn’t a “real Stanley.”

“[They told her] that this is fake and not as cool,” she said, pointing to the cup.

Motycka proceeded to call out the girls’ parents for failing to teach them to treat others with respect for not having trendy, in-demand products, whether they’re Stanley, Uggs or Lululemon.

“This doesn’t start with the kids. This starts with us, with parents, with moms. What are we teaching our kids?” she asked.

“You’d better believe that, if our nine-year-old daughter came home and, somehow, we found out that she had made fun of another girl at school for not having something name-brand… we would be calling the family, we would be making her write a note to apologize, we would make her apologize in person because that’s not what we do in this household.”

Motycka also bought her daughter a real Stanley cup, which she also showed in the video, but said the family seeks to teach their kids that, despite having enough money to purchase these things, they don’t necessarily need them.

“We’re trying to teach our kids they don’t necessarily need that. Things are earned. You have to work for things in your life. Not everything is just going to be handed to you,” she said.

“But do I also not want to see my daughter being left out or made fun of because she doesn’t have name-brand things? That’s how I grew up,” she continued, explaining that she, as a child, was mocked for not having name-brand clothing like other kids.

Motycka concluded the video with a message urging parents to teach their children to not make fun of others for not having the things that they have.

The Stanley Cup craze has seen videos of shoppers storming Target shelves to get their hands on the limited edition pink or red Valentine’s Day editions of 40 oz. Stanley Adventure Quencher Travel Tumblers in recent days, leading some people to say they were “nearly trampled” as a result.

In one TikTok video posted by @jazzedbyjaz, Texas shoppers cleared shelves of the coveted releases in less than four minutes.

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Cafe owner defends asking family to leave over toddler tantrum despite online backlash

An Aussie cafe owner is defending his decision to ask a family to leave over a toddler tantrum after a woman posted a video of her angrily protesting his actions.

Co-owner of Adele’s Cafe in Horseshoe Bay on Magnetic Island, Adrian Dalloste, said it was the first time in his eight-and-half years of operating that he asked a family with children to leave his store.

Speaking to news.com.au, Dalloste said he “could count on one hand the number of bad customer incidents”.

“I’m lucky to get even one a year,” he said.

As first reported by the Townsville Bulletin, Dalloste said two children became upset when told they would be sharing a gelato between them, claiming one of the children swiped at decorations from the counter and threw a steel flask on the tile floor.

The tantrum lasted for about 15 minutes before Dalloste intervened.

“I only intervened because the children were vandalizing the shop and disrupting other customers,” he told the Townsville Bulletin.

In the video recorded earlier this month, mother Laura Edwards criticized the decision, deeming it “absolutely disgusting.”

“It wasn’t a meltdown or tantrum; my kids make more noise than these kids do. It was just a grizzly kid needing some help to sort through his emotions at the time,” Edwards told the Townsville Bulletin.

“The parents were sitting down with them; they weren’t running riot.”

Edwards entered the shop to address the matter with the cafe, leading to a heated argument audible throughout the entire establishment.

In the midst of the confrontation, she claims she was told, “We’re not a creche.”

As a mother-of-three and a customer, Edwards believed she had the right to intervene, expressing that the business could have handled the situation more effectively.

Dalloste expressed confusion over Edward’s intervention.

He said it wasn’t her concern and pointed out that she arrived after he had informed the parents they needed to leave.

He said the family refused to leave at first and that he eventually warned that he would need to call the police.

“Good on the business owner, I would of [sic] done the exact same thing. He has a duty to make sure everyone has an enjoyable experience. I have kids and when they were little, if they carried on like little brats I would of [sic] packed up and left out of the respect for others,” said one woman on the Townsville Bulletin Facebook page.

“Responsible parents should either have taught said children how to behave and show respect for others or remove them from annoying others,” added another commenter.

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A remote island will pay you to live there — but there’s a catch

It’s never too early to start scoping out summer beach rentals.

Here’s one, on a private island of the coast of Ireland, that’s entirely free — in fact, they’ll pay you and a bestie to spend the entire season.

Stunningly picturesque, Great Blasket Island has a seal colony, endless ocean views, memorable scenery and prehistoric sites.

But there’s a catch.

You’re not there to soak up the sun — assuming there is any — but rather to run the island, which welcomes scores of visitors during the warmer months.

Your duties will include running the island’s cafe, and hosting guests at four adjacent holiday cottages.

While there’s a salary involved, the job description didn’t divulge the details, but this definitely sounds like hard work — the duo is required to meet and greet overnight guests, serve tea and coffee and ensure the day-to-day needs of the establishments are met.

The pair will be hosted in the apartment above the coffee shop and share the main bedroom, while having full use of any amenities.

Food and accommodations are included, but everything else is your own responsibility.

The gig will last from April until October 2024 for the couple. A third and possibly fourth volunteer will be chosen to live in the second bedroom in June, July and August to help with the busier months.

The island’s website lists that the job will require a “hardworking, responsible and trustworthy duo that have great people skills and initiative.”

The two will also need to speak English and be eligible to work in the European Union.

The posting warns that this is “not a holiday job.”

“This is an intense position and caretakers must acknowledge that they are on an Island with very little resources,” the posting warned, but the island is only a short ferry ride away from Kerry.

The job posting also noted that “the season can get VERY busy and you will be on your feet for most of the day.”

But don’t worry if Great Blasket Island isn’t for you, it isn’t the only place offering to pay people to move in.

A region in Italy is paying people under 40 years old to move in and join their community.

Since 2021, the far-southern Italian region of Calabria has been attempting to bring fresh life to its depopulated countryside through a program called “active residence income,” and this month it retook the internet’s attention.

Better still, you won’t have to move out at the end of the summer.

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I’m dating my friend’s ex – she doesn’t want me to tell him

DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-plus-year-old single male. I recently started hanging out with one of my friend “Tom’s” ex-girlfriends. It is now turning into more than friends. “Pam” and I both have feelings for each other. She and Tom dated for five months and broke up eight months ago.

Do I owe it to Tom to ask his permission or tell him I’m seeing her? Pam has asked me to not say anything and to let him find out on his own, which will happen because we have many mutual friends. I want to respect her choice. But also, as Tom’s friend, I feel the right thing to do is tell him. Please advise. I’m stuck between her wishes and doing what I think is right. — STUCK IN THE MIDDLE IN IOWA

DEAR STUCK: Have a talk with Pam. Explain that you are not sure how Tom will react if he sees the two of you arm-in-arm with no warning. He may not care, but he also could be upset that you are dating and hid it from him. Then tell Pam that, in light of your friendship with Tom, you prefer being upfront because it’s respectful and you don’t like keeping secrets.

DEAR ABBY: My mom died a couple of years ago and left behind many collectibles that are worth reselling. I am the oldest of five children and have spent the most time and effort moving out her collection, with a lot of help from two of my siblings, “some” help from one and absolutely none from another one.

In her last days, Mom mentioned not to “forget about the gold.” She had collected some scrap gold that I sold for $900. I have been sorting through the remaining inventory with no help from any of my siblings. Is it wrong of me not to share that cash with them? — OVERWHELMED SIBLING

DEAR OVERWHELMED: If you truly felt comfortable pocketing the money, you wouldn’t be asking me this question. Listen to your conscience and share the proceeds from the sale of the precious metal with your siblings. To leave one of them out would guarantee an estrangement.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine was asked to leave a restaurant after the check had been paid because people were waiting for tables, and he was highly insulted. My position was that it was courteous to leave because people were waiting to have their dinner. He felt the waitress had no right to ask their party to leave. What is your take on this? — COURTEOUS IN THE EAST

DEAR COURTEOUS: I consulted Priscilla, operations manager at my favorite restaurant in Beverly Hills, about your question. She explained that some restaurants have a 90-minute time limit for diners to leave the restaurant. (For larger parties, it can be up to 120 minutes.)

My take on this is that rather than making it the responsibility of the server to ask your friend to give up the table, the manager should have come over and done it. It needn’t be an unpleasant exchange. A manager may sometimes offer the patron a seat at the bar and a free drink or dessert in the name of good customer relations.

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