Tag: Sex & Relationships

My boyfriend is addicted to porn

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. Over those years, he has acquired an addiction to porn. He refuses to admit he is addicted and insists that it’s perfectly normal. I’m usually not one to judge, but it has reached the point that it’s affecting our sex life. 

I can’t remember the last time we had a moment to ourselves that didn’t start with him spending all day watching porn. I tried getting involved with it myself hoping we’d find a common interest we could bond over, but he doesn’t seem to want me involved at all. 

I feel like I’m being cheated on, as silly as that sounds. I’m struggling with my body image because of this. I feel like I’m never going to be adequate enough for him to focus on our sex life. How do I compete with porn? — SHUT OUT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SHUT OUT: You don’t. Tell your boyfriend that his reliance on porn is negatively affecting your self-esteem and you are no longer willing to be involved with him because of it. If he’s in love with you and willing to work on the problem, there are resources available to him. (Twelve-step programs come immediately to mind.) If he isn’t, however, accept that this has nothing to do with your level of attractiveness, and move on.

DEAR ABBY: I married for the second time two years ago to a younger woman. Seven months after our wedding, she announced she didn’t like my dominating personality, which is why she was stepping out of the marriage. She then went back to her deadbeat ex-boyfriend for six months. I went for counseling and have made a major change in how I treat, talk and make decisions with her. I love my wife with all my heart. I want to protect our marriage and move forward from the affair. 

Our second anniversary is approaching, but she has been interacting with other men. She takes her daughter with another man on play-dates along with his daughter, and goes to the park with another man for three hours. (He was a single dad having a BBQ.) The third one is a guy she goes with to the park, splash pads, public swimming pool and a water-slide park. They text each other often. One guy is a married stay-at-home dad. He has cheated on his wife before.

Am I wrong to think this is unacceptable for a married woman? Any advice would be absolutely appreciated. — BEWILDERED IN CANADA 

DEAR BEWILDERED: It’s time for joint counseling, with a new therapist for you and your wife. I can’t think of a better way to drive her away than continuing to obsess about what she “may” be doing on these outings. It is hard to envision her carrying on flagrantly with a child in tow; the activities you describe seem distinctly family-oriented to me. It appears you still expect her to conform to your idea of how a married woman “should” behave, or you’re having serious trust issues. More counseling for you may be in order if your marriage is going to last.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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My mother-in-law called me a ‘walrus’ at my baby shower

Charlotte’s* mother-in-law has always made comments about her weight. But Charlotte has always risen above the criticism, saying, “I love myself the way I am and I live by the motto, ‘Be you, everybody else is taken.”

But since she got pregnant, the criticism and clear messages about weight have become worse.

“When I visit she gives me the small plate, portion, cup even spoons. She also buys me small size clothes even though I’m in my second trimester and those clothes don’t fit,” she explained in a Reddit post.

Although she may have grown to expect fat shaming from her mother-in-law, Charlotte thought she might tone it down at her baby shower.

No such luck.

Mother-in-law fat shames pregnant mom-to-be

Charlotte’s sister-in-law was in charge of the shower and offered cake and juice to the guests. Her husband wouldn’t allow Charlotte’s sister to host because he claims she’s too obsessed with their baby. 

“I got hungry from talking and got up for some cake. The second I put my hand on the cake, my mother-in-law grabbed my arm and said that I’d gained enough weight already and if I kept it up, her son would not be happy living with a ‘large walrus’.”

Charlotte was shocked. The comment was made in front of the entire party, and the mom-to-be didn’t know what to do.

“I put the cake down and grabbed my stuff and started walking. Her daughter stopped me saying I can’t leave mid-party and embarrass her like that. I told her to tell her mom to leave if she wanted me to stay but she said, ‘Are you crazy? She’s my mom. You want me to kick her out in front of everybody?’”

Charlotte left the house, called her mom and went home.

The mom’s sister-in-law was in charge of the shower and offered cake and juice to the guests.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

Charlotte’s husband was livid.

“He asked me to explain what I did at the baby shower and why. I told him what his mom did and he started ranting about how I f**ked this up over something so minor.”

Charlotte didn’t think it was minor. Not only did her mother-in-law call her names, she stopped her from eating.

“He said his mom meant well and that I needed to get rid of this ‘easily offended’ mindset immediately before I pass it down to our son.”

Charlotte’s husband demanded that she apologize to his family. Charlotte thought she deserved the apology.

Reddit community concerned for mom’s wellbeing

The Reddit community fully supported the mom, with many questioning the rationale behind starving a pregnant, hungry mother.

“If she’s hungry, the baby is hungry,” said one person.

“Any man that would allow his mother to verbally abuse and deny his wife food and then gaslight and berate his wife for standing up for herself, is a massively abusive asshole,” said another. “This is divorce territory now.”

Not only did the woman’s mother-in-law call her names like walrus, she also stopped her from eating.
Getty Images/iStockphoto

Some people thought her husband’s reaction was a symptom of a greater problem.

“So your own sister wasn’t allowed to throw you a baby shower, which then caused your mom not to attend,” one person said. “Instead your husband allowed his sister to throw one, where your MIL bullied you. Is he trying to control you, isolate you from your family, or is this a once-off?”

“Be careful…. These people sound extremely toxic and dangerous,” said another. “Don’t let your DH manipulate you into isolation from your family.”

*Names have been changed

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Which country is set to see two big royal weddings next year

Love is in the air for the royal family of Jordan.

The Middle Eastern kingdom, wedged between Israel and Iraq, is celebrating a trio of weddings and engagements as several senior family members are saying“I do.”

While the first of the three weddings took place in early September in Amman — between Jordan’s Prince Ghazi Bin Muhammad, the first cousin of King Abdullah, and Princess Miriam of Turnovo — the bigger scoop surrounds upcoming nuptials for both Crown Prince Hussein and Princess Iman, his sister.

They are the children of Jordan’s King Abdullah II and his glamorous wife, Rania.

The Crown Prince, 28, is set to marry Rajwa Khaled Bin Musaed Bin Saif Bin Abdulaziz Al Saif, 28, next summer. The Saudi stunner is the daughter of Khalid bin Musaed bin Saif bin Abdulaziz Al Saif—  CEO of the privately owned Al Saif Group — and his wife, Azza bint Nayef Abdulaziz Ahmed Al Sudairi.

Princess Iman in an official portrait honoring her engagement to Jameel Thermiotis, a businessman who was born in Venezuela but is now based in New York.
Jordanian Royal Palace/AFP via G
Queen Rania (left), here with Princess Iman, is considered one of the world’s most stylish monarchs.
Shutterstock

While the couple clearly appear besotted, Middle East observers suggest that regional diplomacy is as much behind the royal match as old-fashioned romance.

“Rajwa is Saudi has a good impact on Jordanians who see it as an opening for better relations with Saudi Arabia,” said Randa Habib, Jordanian journalist and author of the book “Hussein and Abdullah: inside the Jordanian Royal Family.”

She also presents a more contemporary, forward-thinking image of Saudi Arabia, which remains deeply conservative, especially when it comes to women’s rights. “The family of Rawja are … more modern than expected and modest in their behaviors,” Habib said.

After attending high school in Saudi Arabia, Al Saif moved to New York and studied architecture at Syracuse University. The soon-to-be princess — and future queen – also attended the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles and worked at an architecture firm there before moving back home to Riyadh, where she is employed at the Designlab Experience design studio.

King Abdullah (center) attends the August wedding of his cousin, Prince Ghazi Bin Muhammad to Princess Miriam of Turnovo, a Spanish jewelry designer and socialite.
Crown Prince Hussein with his new fiancée, Rajwa Al Saif. The couple will one day become King and Queen of Jordan.
Balkis Press/Abaca/Sipa USA

Prince Hussein, who was named heir to the throne in 2009, also traveled abroad for his education. He graduated from both Georgetown University in 2016 and the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst in the United Kingdom in 2017. He is now a Captain in the Jordanian Armed Forces.

For the Aug. 17 engagement, Queen Rania loaned her future daughter-in-law custom white-and-yellow diamond plumage earrings from coveted jewelry designer Stephen Webster. 

The Crown Prince and his fiancée are already being compared to Prince William and Kate Middleton for their proximity to the throne, as well as their poise and glamorous vibes. Fashionistas have pointed out that Rajwa’s official engagement portrait features a deep blue dress from Costarellos that is similar to the one Kate wore to announce her own betrothal in 2010.

King Abdullah, Queen Rania and Crown Prince Hussein during a White House visit with Joe and Jill Biden in July 2021. Jordan has long been one of the US’ strongest Middle Eastern allies.
Best Image/BACKGRID

However, a source close to the Jordanian royal family said that the comparison is only accurate in fashion, not substance.

“While it’s a new age and a new generation, the Crown Prince is highly influenced by his father and late grandfather,” the source said. In Jordan, unlike in England, the royal directly runs and rules the nation.

The Jordanian royal family, minus Princess Iman, in 2018: (l-r) Prince Hashem, Queen Rania, Princess Salma, King Abdullah and Crown Prince Hussein.
Royal Hashemite Court via Getty Images
King Abdullah and Queen Rania drive through the streets of Amman on their wedding day in June 1993 — mere months after meeting at a dinner party.
AFP via Getty Images

Queen Rania will be knee-deep in wedding planning for a while, since her eldest daughter is also tying the knot. Earlier this summer, the palace announced that Princess Iman, 25, the second child of the king and queen, will wed New York-based financier Jameel Alexander Thermiotis, 28. 

Although born in Caracas, Venezuela, Thermiotis hails from a Greek family and his real first name is Dimitrios; he goes by Jimmy, which the palace “Arabicized” to Jameel (translating to “beautiful” in Arabic).

The Thermiotis family secured the Dior franchise Venezuela, and eventually moved to Miami, where Jameel studied business administration at Florida International University.

Princess Iman is relatively low key, known for her equestrian prowess and fashion style. She attended Georgetown University, but then switched to New York’s Parsons School of Design to finish her bachelor’s degree. She met Thermiotis in New York, where he worked in private equity and venture capital. Their engagement was a surprise as the relationship had been kept extremely private.

King Abdullah and Queen Rania dazzle at the wedding of Sweden’s Crown Princess Victoria to Daniel Westling in Stockholm in 2010.
WireImage
The King and Queen with Crown Prince Hussein in Washington, DC celebrating the Prince’s graduation from Georgetown University in 2016. Hussein, like his father, is directly descended from the Prophet Muhammed.
Balkis Press/Sipa USA

Unlike her brother, Princess Iman has chosen to spend her life with someone who is not Arab and not Muslim, which has raised some eyebrows in her home country.

“There have been mixed feelings regarding Princess Iman’s choice,” the close source acknowledged.

Still, the royal family clearly approves of the union, with the Crown Prince writing on his Instagram page: “Warmest congratulations to my dear sister Iman and her fiancé Jameel on their engagement. I wish you a lifetime of happiness together.”

“The wedding of Princess Iman is expected to happen in Jordan,” Habib noted. “As for their activities later, they could live abroad and travel to Jordan occasionally.” 

Crown Prince Hussein along with his parents, Queen Rania and King Abdullah, visit with Queen Elizabeth II and her daughter, Princess Anne, at Buckingham Palace in 2019. The Crown Prince completed much of his early education at England’s Royal Military Academy Sandhurst.
Shutterstock

The biggest wildcard has been the unexpected royal wedding that just took place between Prince Ghazi Bin Muhammad, 56, and Princess Miriam of Turnovo, 59. The private ceremony at Amman’s Raghadan Palace on September 3 was attended by King Abdullah, Prince Hussein and Prince Talal Bin Muhammad — but Jordanians found out about the nuptials through the Spanish media, not via the kingdom. 

It was the second marriage for both the bride and groom: In 1997, Prince Ghazi married Areej Zawawi, mother of their four children: Princess Tasneem, Prince Abdullah, Princess Jennah and Princess Salsabeel. They divorced in 2021. Prince Ghazi is 18th in line for the crown, and serves as the personal adviser to the King on religious and cultural affairs

Born to a Spanish noble family, Miriam became Princess Miriam of Turnovo when she married Bulgaria’s Prince Kardam in 1996. After having two sons, Prince Boris and Prince Beltrá, things took a tragic turn: In 2008, the couple survived a serious car accident in Madrid, but Kardam remained in a coma before passing away seven years later in 2015. 

Happily, the royal gemologist and jewelry designer found love again with Prince Ghazi and turned heads in an elegant champagne-colored satin wedding gown.



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I busted my boyfriend for cheating — when he lasted too long in bed

It was a blessing and a curse.

A jilted woman is going viral after revealing how she figured out that her boyfriend was cheating — when he unexpectedly got better in bed.

The sexy sleuth elaborated on her discovery in a recent TikTok repost detailing his suspicious longevity in the sack. The original clip reportedly amassed more than 700,000 views before her account was suspended for unrelated reasons, according to Jam Press.

“He lasted longer than usual in bed,” 22-year-old Pernille Torhov, from Norway, said of the tantalizing tell — which she noticed during a lovemaking session just after her beau had returned from a trip. She claimed that they had been dating for four months when he told her he was going on a jaunt to a cabin with his pals.

Alarm bells went off after the couple made whoopie upon his return, and Torhov noticed that a change in his boudoir performance.

Specifically, her boyfriend took his time in the sack, which Torhov deemed odd as “it had been a week since we last saw each other.”

“He lasted longer than usual in bed,” said Pernille Torhov, 22 describing the unlikely tell.
Jam Press/Pernille Torhov
Alarm bells went off after the couple made whoopie upon his return, when Torhov noticed that her soulmate was taking an unusually long time in the sack.
Jam Press Vid/Pernille Torhov

“I was thinking to myself that it was a bit strange, but didn’t say anything to him,” said the suspicious Norwegian, who decided to turn a “blind eye” to her beau’s behavior because she was “so in love with this man.”

Torhov tried to convince herself that she was “overthinking” things, but her initial suspicions were confirmed after the cheater came clean via a Snapchat message.

“I feel pretty bad and I’m disappointed in myself because there’s something I haven’t told you,” the alleged digital confession read. “One of the boys invited two girls on our cabin trip, and I ended up sleeping with one of them.”

She had reportedly been dating the philanderer for four months when he decided to go on a jaunt within this country with his pals.
Jam Press/Pernille Torhov
After a long period of suspicion, the cheater finally came came clean about his misdeed in a SnapChat message.
Jam Press/Pernille Torhov

The remorseful man went on to claim that he had no “desire to do anything” with those women, but things took a turn after one of the gals “had to sleep over because they couldn’t get home” — and there were only two beds, he claimed.

“She slept in my room, and it went as it did, but that’s no excuse anyway, I thought it was stupid of me,” the bozo insisted.

He also pointed out that while he and Torhov had not previously established an “exclusive” relationship, his conscious weighed heavy after the time they’d spent together — insisting that he is “quite disappointed” with himself. “This is really not the person I want to be.”

Torhov was devastated by the admission.

“When I read the message I was kind of shocked and obviously very sad,” said the crestfallen gal. “He came home to me and had sex with me straight after he had sex with the girl on the cabin trip,” she lamented.

Despite her beau’s romantic infraction, Torhov decided against dumping the bozo.
Jam Press/Pernille Torhov

She was furthermore disappointed with his delivery — via social media app. Insisting they break up “face-to-face” — the star-crossed lovers would rekindle their romance in the end.

“I decided to give him a second chance and he’s turned out to be a very sweet and nice boy,” Torhov said.

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