My mother-in-law called me a ‘walrus’ at my baby shower

Charlotte’s* mother-in-law has always made comments about her weight. But Charlotte has always risen above the criticism, saying, “I love myself the way I am and I live by the motto, ‘Be you, everybody else is taken.”

But since she got pregnant, the criticism and clear messages about weight have become worse.

“When I visit she gives me the small plate, portion, cup even spoons. She also buys me small size clothes even though I’m in my second trimester and those clothes don’t fit,” she explained in a Reddit post.

Although she may have grown to expect fat shaming from her mother-in-law, Charlotte thought she might tone it down at her baby shower.

No such luck.

Mother-in-law fat shames pregnant mom-to-be

Charlotte’s sister-in-law was in charge of the shower and offered cake and juice to the guests. Her husband wouldn’t allow Charlotte’s sister to host because he claims she’s too obsessed with their baby. 

“I got hungry from talking and got up for some cake. The second I put my hand on the cake, my mother-in-law grabbed my arm and said that I’d gained enough weight already and if I kept it up, her son would not be happy living with a ‘large walrus’.”

Charlotte was shocked. The comment was made in front of the entire party, and the mom-to-be didn’t know what to do.

“I put the cake down and grabbed my stuff and started walking. Her daughter stopped me saying I can’t leave mid-party and embarrass her like that. I told her to tell her mom to leave if she wanted me to stay but she said, ‘Are you crazy? She’s my mom. You want me to kick her out in front of everybody?’”

Charlotte left the house, called her mom and went home.

Charlotte’s husband was livid.

“He asked me to explain what I did at the baby shower and why. I told him what his mom did and he started ranting about how I f**ked this up over something so minor.”

Charlotte didn’t think it was minor. Not only did her mother-in-law call her names, she stopped her from eating.

“He said his mom meant well and that I needed to get rid of this ‘easily offended’ mindset immediately before I pass it down to our son.”

Charlotte’s husband demanded that she apologize to his family. Charlotte thought she deserved the apology.

Reddit community concerned for mom’s wellbeing

The Reddit community fully supported the mom, with many questioning the rationale behind starving a pregnant, hungry mother.

“If she’s hungry, the baby is hungry,” said one person.

“Any man that would allow his mother to verbally abuse and deny his wife food and then gaslight and berate his wife for standing up for herself, is a massively abusive asshole,” said another. “This is divorce territory now.”

Some people thought her husband’s reaction was a symptom of a greater problem.

“So your own sister wasn’t allowed to throw you a baby shower, which then caused your mom not to attend,” one person said. “Instead your husband allowed his sister to throw one, where your MIL bullied you. Is he trying to control you, isolate you from your family, or is this a once-off?”

“Be careful…. These people sound extremely toxic and dangerous,” said another. “Don’t let your DH manipulate you into isolation from your family.”

*Names have been changed