Gaming

The Top 10 Helldivers 2 Quotes

ByNews Polite March 15, 2024

10. “Return, refit, and redeploy to purge the stain of this failure with the peroxide of victory.”

Where were you when Malevelon Creek fell? It was a sinking feeling many a Helldiver felt in the long, dark days of late February 2024. Chances are, if you were one of the brave few fighting against the automaton tide on “robot Vietnam” then you may well have failed a mission and heard the fateful words “return, refit, and redeploy to purge the stain of this failure with the peroxide of victory”.

The loss of the Creek was indeed a stain on an otherwise successful defense of Super Earth so far, but with a stern resistance now in full force it does appear that the nostril-invading stench of peroxide has filled the air. Whether that means all Helldivers now have bleached-white hair is yet to be seen. If only they’d ever take those helmets off.

9. “Democracy fills my sample container!”

One of the main reasons I’ve found for failing missions comes down to being greedy, but sometimes those shiny samples found dotted around in the dirt and dust are just too tempting. You may be fooled into thinking that it’s your eyes or mini-map radar leading you to these valuable upgrade treasures.

But have you thought that maybe it was the concept of democracy the whole time? Who powers your minimap? Democracy. Who gave you the eyes that help you see through the smog of alien planets more clearly? Democracy? It’s enough to make you stop, think, and declare “democracy fills my sample container!”

8. “HAHAHAHAHA!” (Heavy Machine Gun Emplacement laughter)

Sometimes you’ve just got to laugh. Nothing more to really say here than the sound of a heavy machine gun emplacement chattering away is only aided by the sound of a Helldiver laughing their head off as they pop alien heads. Is laughing a quote? Perhaps not. But are you trying to tell me the sweetest sound a human baby can make isn’t memorable? Shame on you.

7. “Dispense peace with the ultimate weaponry.”

Nothing creates peace quite like a huge explosion. I think that was what Oppenheimer was all about. That’s what the propaganda machine on Super Earth would likely have you believe anyway. They’ll have you using whatever new piece of kit is fresh off of the production line to make as much noise as possible in order to bring about the ensuing peace.

Then again, most places do tend to sound quieter after four incendiary shotguns, a napalm strike, two 500kg bombs, and a nuke have gone off. Peaceful might be a stretch, but that’s the long-term aim of this intergalactic war. As such, you’re highly encouraged to “dispense peace with the ultimate weaponry”.

6. “Incoming friendly fire! Dodge…or don’t. Your call.”

We’ve all been there. You’ve dialed in a fancy selection of d-pad commands and primed a cluster strike stratagem in hand, only for it to be knocked out of your grip by a leaping bug as you’ve gone to throw it. After a second of pure panic, the polite thing to do next is to warn your squadmates (even if watching them get blown away would be very funny).

I think your Helldiver agrees too, when they shout “incoming friendly fire! Dodge…or don’t. Your call.” Yes, we all want to complete missions with the best score possible, and the first part of that quote covers that, but secretly we all have that dark sense of humour that loves to see our friends fall foul to hilarious moments of misfortune. If only there was a German word for that.

5. “My Leg! For the love of liberty, my leg!”

If you’re lucky, that moment of misfortune will only result in the loss of a limb, rather than the destruction of your whole body. For those exact moments, the perfect Helldivers 2 quote exists: “My Leg! For the love of liberty, my leg!” It must be heartening for every Super Earth commander out there to know that even in desperate times, Helldivers are still keeping their core beliefs of liberty, freedom, and democracy alive.

4. “Say hello to DEMOCRACY!”

Did someone say democracy? There’s truly no word closer to the heart of Helldiver than the thought of a system of government comprised of elected representatives. If you’ve done any deep-diving into Super Earth’s electoral process, then you may have realised it doesn’t quite match our typical definition of the word, but (whisper it quietly) could indeed be another form of propaganda and a way to control the masses.

Political murmurings aside, it’s undeniable that screaming the words “Say hello to democracy!” after hurling a grenade into a bug nest is indeed very funny. And if we’re all laughing, who really cares if we’re fighting for democracy, dictatorship, or somewhere in between?

3. “That’s one more victory for the right side of history!”

Apologies if my A in A-level history is showing here, but nothing quite rallies the masses like instilling an “us against them” mentality. It’s propaganda 101 and clear that those in charge of the Super Earth communications team were attentive in their history lessons. They know that a fully motivated soldier will fight for what they believe is right.

Of course, who knows if we’re on the right side of history here. But you’re playing your part in it, aren’t you? Have you ever stopped to think if you’ve been brainwashed by Super Earth? You’re just going to keep playing Helldivers 2 because it’s ludicrously fun, aren’t you? That’s fair. It’s all made up anyway.

2. “How’d you like the taste of freedom?”

I don’t think freedom tastes very nice if you’re an enemy of the Helldivers. It largely consists of shotgun shells, missiles, and a sprinkling of napalm. I’m starting to think “how’d you like the taste of freedom?” might be a rhetorical question. It is a very funny thing to shout at a robot you’re unloading a full magazine of ammunition into, though, and for that reason it’s one of our favourites.

1. “How ’bout a nice cup of LIBER-TEA?”

But in an ideal world full of peace and democracy, what does freedom taste like? We’ve already gone over that – to Terminids and Automatons, it tastes like the hot steel of another bullet lodging into their soon lifeless bodies. Now, that doesn’t sound like a well-balanced meal to me. But to Helldivers it could take on an altogether different flavour. Could it be the soothing earthiness of a herbal chai that reminds Helldivers of the rolling fields of home?

Our number one quote has to be “How ’bout a nice cup of LIBER-TEA?”, and no, not just because I’m British and it’s a line about tea. I don’t even like tea, so take that. What I do like is blowing up hundreds of alien bugs on my lunch hour, though, and let me tell you, alongside a ham sandwich it tastes fantastic.

Simon Cardy is doing his part. Follow him on Twitter at @CardySimon.