Jon Stewart Returns to Form on ‘The Daily Show’

“Look, Joe Biden isn’t Donald Trump. He hasn’t been indicted as many times, he hasn’t had as many fraudulent businesses or been convicted in a civil trial for sexual assault or been ordered to pay defamation, have his charities disbanded, or stiffed a [expletive] ton of blue-collar tradesmen he hired.” — JON STEWART

“We are not suggesting neither man is vibrant, productive or even capable, but they are both stretching the limits of being able to handle the toughest job in the world. What’s crazy is thinking that we’re the ones, as voters, who must silence concerns and criticisms. It is the candidates’ job to assuage concerns, not the voters’ job not to mention them.” — JON STEWART

“I’ve learned one thing over these last nine years, and I was glib at best and probably dismissive at worst about this: The work of making this world resemble one that you would prefer to live in is a lunch pail [expletive] job, day in and day out, where thousands of committed, anonymous, smart and dedicated people bang on closed doors and pick up those that are fallen and grind away on issues until they get a positive result, and even then, have to stay on to make sure that result holds. So, the good news is, I’m not saying you don’t have to worry about who wins the election. I’m saying you have to worry about every day before it and every day after, forever. Although, on the plus side, I am told that at some point, the sun will run out of hydrogen.” — JON STEWART