My dog groomer must get ‘consent’ from my pooch during haircuts — or else

That’s one ruff client.

A Reddit user who claims to be a dog groomer shared an email allegedly from a picky woman looking to get her “rare” dog groomed for the first time.

“My name is Susan and I am looking for a groomer for my dog who can groom him in the non-confrontational manner I believe is best for him,” began the note, which recently resurfaced as it made the rounds on Reddit again.

“Dooley is an 18-month-old Bernowdoodle (if you are unfamiliar with the more rare doodle breeds, he is a Bernese mountain dog/chow/standard poodle) and this would be his first haircut as I have not found a groomer willing to work within the parameters I believe in.”

Susan explained that Dooley’s hair was seven to eight inches long. She said she wanted one to two inches removed “all over.”

“While I’m sure any groomer could easily handle the haircut, I’m having difficulty finding a groomer willing to wait for him to consent to each part of the grooming,” she added.

“He will consent by maintaining eye contact with you while you are working, and if he looks away he is withdrawing his consent, and you will need to stop until he grants it again.”

As an added challenge, Susan demanded her pooch not be “leashed to a tub” or “forced into a cage” during the salon experience, as she does not believe in anything that could be “psychologically uncomfortable.”

“Since I understand not everyone is as fluent in his language as I am I would prefer it if I stayed and supervised his grooming to make sure you don’t miss anything he is telling you,” she continued.

“Dooley will need a bath, blow dried, brush out (he might have a few small tangles but they will be easy to brush out) and a full standard doodle haircut.”

To top off the next-to-impossible request, Susan pushed for a tight time frame.

“My schedule is very busy so the appointment can only take a maximum of two hours,” she alleged.

“Based on the reviews I have read online, I do believe you are the perfect groomer for Dooley. Please advise me as to when the best time to bring him in would be.”

Some Reddit users rolled their eyes at the paws-itively particular request. One Redditor even claimed to know the alleged groomer, proclaiming the email is a “combination of a lot of clients she had, some of which I was even there for.”

“I remember the email she got about the dog that she would only be allowed to groom if she had the dog’s consent,” the user posted over the summer.

Other Redditors had a ball in the comments.

“Rarer doodle breeds is where I started groaning. Eye contact/consent is where I was having difficulty breathing,” one commenter yelped.

“Just reply ‘lol,’” another simply advised.

“As a canine behaviorist with a degree in canine behavior and 15 years experience working with reactive dogs…this is the type of owner that turns their dog into a mess,” one Dr. Dolittle offered. “I’ve had clients like this. They reinforce their dog’s insecurities.”

“I’m all for cooperative care, but if you’re going to do the whole eye contact/chin rest/whatever cue as consent thing, you’re going to have to do the grooming yourself,” another suggested.

“No groomer has time for that, or if they did, it would cost hundreds because they’d only be able to do one dog a day,” the user added.